The New Me

You know, kids can be nasty when dealing with other kids their age. That I discovered even when I was still in elementary school. I wasn't a victim of physical bullying but I was called by many names. Classmates called me negra and Cofradia too many times to convince me that I was ugly.

In fairness to my mom, she never told me I was one. In fact, I still remember her calling me mestiza because, as she told me, I had eyes that were always wide open. She saw the best in me and encouraged me to hone my gifts. I excelled in school and in the arts.

This is me in high school.
Still, the name callings were more powerful than all of my mom's words of comfort. They made me feeling inferior about myself. My lack of confidence showed even when I was already enrolled in UP. While my classmates wore slinky shorts and short-sleeved shirts to school, I chose to wear ones that hid my dark-skinned frame. My goal then was to be as invisible as I can be and to go through the 4 years just doing my own business.

The new me emerged when I met my husband. Ours was a whirlwind romance. Let's just say that we got married only after 11 months of being together. I was fresh out of college and starting my career in a publishing company. But I took the risk and left everything to be a full-time housewife. I'm glad I did. By the way, it will be our 10th year anniversary in January 2010!

I guess my husband swept me off my feet because he was the only person whom I felt had sincerely appreciated my worth. Like my mom, he lifted my spirits up. And throughout the years, he has always said amazing things about how I look or how I do things at home. I slowly regained the confidence I had before the name callings began.

After four years of being a full-time hands-on mom to our only child, I decided to reinvent myself. I enrolled in graduate school and took a Masters degree in Education from UPOU. After that, I saw myself teaching preschoolers and gradeschoolers who made me feel even better about myself. To them, I was the Superwoman. They don't call me negra. Instead, with a tight hug and a kiss on the side, they lovingly call me "Teacher Mauie". The toddlers who are still bulol call me "Teacher Mommy!"

It was also during the same time that I discovered blogging. Through blogging, I was able to meet new friends and acquaintances. I was also able to meet mentors who taught me the ins and outs of online writing jobs. I'm not teaching anymore as I am now working in my home office for two foreign clients and one local online encyclopedia. With my current work-at-home status, I get to manage the household, take care of my kid after school hours, blog, and work all at the same time. Somehow, I got to continue the publishing career that I left when I got married.

My son is more bolero. My siblings have always kidded me that I brainwashed my son into thinking that I am gorgeous and sexy. But I didn't. I think it's automatic for children to find their moms beautiful, don't you think?

Me with the extra pounds and all but I feel gorgeous and sexy because my boy tells me so!
This is the New Me. I may be fifty pounds heavier, just a shade or two lighter in skin color, but my self-confidence is back. I strive to have a regular exercise routine, to follow a beauty regimen, and to think happy thoughts to stay looking young. With my family appreciating the inner me, I get inspired to constantly improve myself and my craft.